Author Avoidance Tactics
#129
We were honored to be invited back to once again participate in the local authors event at the Barnes & Noble in Bowie, Maryland. This time around, it was to be a joint signing focused on our Lemon Hog Publishing titles, Gill’s romantic thriller, Trust Issues, and my short story collection, Saloons, Jungles, and City Streets. As we would both be at the table, we also decided to bring along our joint publication project, The James Bond Lexicon.
As always, the staff was very helpful and enthusiastic.
Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said of the customers. Let’s just say that traffic in the store was somewhat thinner than last fall’s event. I don’t think this was helped by the weather, as it was the first day of rain after two glorious weeks of sunshine, and the fact that there was a Spring Festival at the shopping center, which meant a drastic reduction in available parking spaces.
Despite that, we had hoped we were off to a good start when Gill sold a copy of her novel before the official event kick-off time. But those hopes soon evaporated as over the next few hours the number of people who stopped by the tables could be counted on the fingers of one hand. Including the lady who took great pleasure in informing us she didn’t read books. So why she was in a bookstore was something of a mystery.
Which gave us plenty of time to people-watch. It was fascinating how people would go to extraordinary lengths to avoid coming near the area of the store where the authors event was set up. They would take circuitous routes to reach the coffee shop or the shelving behind us. Or they would walk on the far side of the pathway in front of us, but with their gaze fixed firmly ahead.
It seemed that we were some sort of Gorgons, as even those people who ventured into the no-man’s land before our tables would avoid looking in our direction, including the woman who literally bumped into the table because she wouldn’t look where she was going in order to avoid having to acknowledge our existence.
Most attempts to engage passersby with a simple greeting mainly resulted in silence. It could have gotten depressing, but in the end, we had fun just watching how inventive people could be in struggling to avoid interacting with these strange creatures sitting pen in hand with a pile of books in front of them.
The thing is, we will of course do it all over again if asked.
Because who knows, the next time we may actually sell some books.
Alan
Other Stuff
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Word Slinging
Next week we’ll be starting on the final edits for the Casino Royale 67 project book project.
Talking of Casino Royale, next Wednesday the latest issue of RetroFan magazine arrives in stores and includes my article on “The First Bond.”
The last couple of weeks of writing have been focused on Monaco Heist, the third novel in Van Allen Plexio’s fun Harper & Salsa “Heist” series that I’m honored to be co-writing.
Shows Booked in 2026
Unfortunately, we will no longer be able to make the Annapolis Book Fair on May 2nd, but you can find us next at the CRAA (Chesapeake Regional Authors & Artists) Fest in Bel Air, MD, the weekend of May 16-17.
The list of events in 2026 where you will be able to find us is now looking something like this:
May 16-17 - CRAA Fest - Bel Air, MD
May 22-25 - Balticon - Baltimore, MD
NEW - May 29 - BOCNE - Boston, MA
July 29 - Aug 2 - PulpFest - Pittsburgh, PA
August 8 - Bookfair - Bel Air, MD
Buy Our Books Direct Online
You can now buy any of our books directly from us via our Forest Comics and Books store on eBay where they are all listed with the same BuyNow prices that we charge at conventions and shows.
Thanks to the folks who have already purchased copies from us over the last few weeks.
Podcast Procrastinations
In the latest episode on the Chronological Christie podcast, we dive into the snow-bound Sittaford Mystery (aka The Murder at Hazelmoor), So strap on your boots and come join us.
Over on the Before They Were Beatles podcast, the latest episode covering the story of The Beatle’s enigmatic bass player Stuart Sutcliffe
Books Read in 2026
“Shakespeare’s Book” by Chris Laoutaris
A hefty tome about a hefty tome.
The idea of telling the story of the people behind the creation of Shakespeare’s First Folio is an intriguing one, and there’s a lot to cover. I was particularly fascinated by the fact that many of the challenges of publishing haven’t really changed. Deals over who owned the rights to various plays, trying to figure out which is the cleanest copy of the manuscript, censorship issues, and ‘sensitivity readers,’ the impact on the text from changes made by copyists, type compositors, and even changes made to make the text fit the allotted page counts!
Adding in the business and political background added another layer of intrigue and complexity.
And that’s where this book falters. There is no denying the incredible amount of research and detail - but that detail gets in the way of the narrative, making large swaths of the text a chore to get through.
In some places, it reads more like a PhD thesis than a popular history.
One for those with a deep interest in the Bard rather than the general audience.
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Over at our online bookstore at Bookshop.org I’ve now added a new section listing books read so far in 2026, as well as previous years, so you can pick up copies of any that interest you, while also helping out local independent bookstores.
You can check it out HERE
Where on the Web is Alan?
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See you next time
Alan J. Porter
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Don't know if I ever told you this story, but here seems appropriate. Once upon a time, I was on the panels at Worldcon and had a signing time alongside Max Gladstone, a brand new debut author at the time, and George RR Martin. GRRM had a signing line out the door. Me and Max were sitting by ourselves, playing with the pencils on the Group W bench, when Connie Willis came and talked to us. We wondered what this famous author person wanted to say to us. She said: I remember a time years back that was very similar. I sat with a discouraged unknown author while David Brin was at the other end of the table with an autograph line out the door. Do you know who that unknown author was? George RR Martin.
I was also recently at Aggiecon. Martha Wells had her signing spot and a long line of folks waiting to sign. Yet I remember many an Armadillocon when she had no one at her autographings, and she told me herself she was considering giving up writing after decades of never hitting it big. Then, she wrote Murderbot.
Everybody is unknown at some point. And some of us take longer than others to cross that chasm.